TheDeathOfMe

March 17, 2011 No Comments by admin

thedeathofme
by
Mark Sevi

March 17, 2011

I don’t dwell on it – okay I do
but really
how can it be
that me
will disappear?

I feel so real, so endlessly real
so every day and so forever
real

so
really
how could it all just cease
like my dad
and grandma
and Fuzzy, the Wonder Dog?

I look in the eyes of a beautiful woman
or in the beautiful eyes of a woman – however you want to phrase that
and think
will I ever see that again when I die?
is there a beautiful woman’s eyes I can look into
on the other side
or will those now be quantum plumes of dark matter
with flecks of green plasma
that are just as stunning
but not nearly as much fun to get lost in?
or maybe they are – I can’t know – that’s maddening

it’s not fear, exactly.
(sometimes I guess it is)

it’s more like what I think about surviving a nuclear holocaust.
who the hell is gonna make shit like pens and computers and tires and
pine tree-shaped air fresheners
when no one even know how to grow food?  or purify water.  or light the darkness?

the other side – honestly I have no idea what that phrase means –
the other side
will certainly be different and wondrous and mind blowing
but will donuts taste as good?
or will anyone in dimension x even know how to make one?
this is what continues to worry me

I do understand that I shouldn’t actually dwell on it
that I have no control over what’s on the way when I’m away from this body
and that my dad went there
and grandma
and Cindy,
with those eyes that I used to get lost in

and hopefully they’ll be there to help me along
like they did here

And I do hope they have those apple fritter thing donuts
I would really miss those
and beautiful eyes